Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Little Monster Turned Into A Really Short PERSON

So the Little Monster is... about two and a half now. I'm getting much better at explaining who she is to me, now, mostly because I can't shut up about her and people frequently stop me and say, "Wait, what toddler?!"

No, I didn't magically have a kid. I live with one. I have for more than a year. She's not my child and frankly I think I'd be, like, the worst parent ever so I'm glad she's not my child, but she for mysterious reasons occupies a lot of my brain. I've gotten used to it. The first time I was away from the NeuHaus for a long term petsitting gig, I was startled and worried when, in the middle of a run, I was hit with a wave of missing her so much I almost cried. I suppose I have to blame biology and man-as-a-social-creature for this.

In any case, she calls me 'Aunt Cake' or more often just 'Cake' - my name is hard for little humans to pronounce and when my cousin was little she did the same thing - and while she's always been pretty smart, in the past couple of months her language and comprehension skills have just skyrocketed. I think she's hysterically funny, and sometimes the things that come out of her mouth are so freaking brilliant when you consider that she's not even three years old.

I've been doing my best to write down some of the gems, as has the rest of the Collective. Here are some of them. I wasn't there for all of these, but I assure you none of us embellish these things. It's not really possible to make what she says any better.

(I lean over the gate to wave good bye to the Little Monster, who is sitting in a box. I have my helmet in my hand.)
Little Monster: You... are you having a tricycle?
Me: I have a bicycle.
Little Monster: It have two wheels. You going to ride it?
Me: Yes. I'm going to school. See you later.
Little Monster: Okay. I watch Howl.