Goldfrank's Toxicologic Emergencies

Today's title is the name of the book my monitor is resting on. I bought it from the medical library for a dollar, along with what the entire Collective agrees is the funniest book they've ever seen. I'm too lazy to actually get up and go find out what the real title is, but we're calling it The Book of Unhappy Children. It's about the physical signs of seasonal allergies in children.

So it's a lot of pictures of children with stuffy noses and sinus headaches glaring at the camera.

We look at it when we need a schadenfreudic boost.

I'm on my way to bed, because I discovered that I was too tired to play SWTOR, and that means that I'm practically dead, but I wanted to share this with you. It's absolutely, 100% the most helpful book review in the history of book reviews. It really influenced my decision on whether or not to throw down the $2.99 on the Kindle edition of the book. I've copied and pasted it in its entirety here. Uncut, totally unedited.

Are you ready for this? It's super insightful. It's extremely honest. It will truly help you decide whether or not this book is worth reading.

"It's good, but I've read better."

Electric Tea Kettle Boogaloo

After typing this title, I looked up the word 'boogaloo' because that's what I do, and I found out that boogaloo is a style of Latin music and dance that was popular in the US in the 60s, apparently invented in NYC by those darn kids.

I also found this, which is just freaking awesome:

So really this post has nothing to do with boogaloo, because everyone who is anyone knows I can't dance. People living in Timbuktu know I can't dance. Today I learned about how Timbuktu and Portugal pwned the world for a little while, until Columbus ruined everything.

It has to do with electric tea kettles, though, because I was making tea when I sat down and started writing, and the kettle popped off about five minutes ago, and true to form, I've gotten busy and can't go make tea right at this moment. I'm just constantly boiling water. If there are ever any babies being born in the area I guarantee you I'm ready.

Today was a busy day; tomorrow isn't going to be much calmer. My job delivering newspapers has doubled in workload because now I'm the only distributor. (Distributor is the fancy thing you say now instead of 'delivery boy' because I'm demonstrably not a boy.) So I have two routes instead of one route, and that's six hours a week instead of three, and while I'm totally willing to do it because I get paid twice when I work twice, it's hard.

Plus I'm ticked off that the other distributor quit without giving any notice, and I hate to work mad.

Anyways, so my day went like this:

Wake up-aw damn it it's only 4am-back to sleep-6am wake up for real-get dressed-internet not working why-aw crap I spent so much time trying to figure out the internet that I'm late-ppppppppppaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr route-CLASS OMFG I'M GONNA BE LATE-protein bar on the way to next class-forgot the other book she said we needed-change clothes in the parking garage hope no one sees me-drive drive drive to the winternship-coffee-I love my winternship-time to go running-forgot my Garmin and my headlamp-ankle hurts hope this isn't something permanent-time for dinner-slow internet means SWTOR still isn't playable-you should really go to bed now-nope can't blogging.

So now I'm trying to make tea so I can breathe. But first this blog.

Have some Baby Boogaloo. He helped me just now.

Rawr.

You'll notice there's a new count down clock. REPTAR!

Anyone who doesn't a) already know who reptar is or b) doesn't go look up reptar and think I'm being kinda cool and spunky for bringing him back into service should probably not be reading this blog. Isn't he obscenely happy? He's happier than unicorns. Multiple unicorns. Who have been eating cupcakes.

I haven't been eating cupcakes. Actually I've been eating grapefruit. I bought a 5lb bag because it was on sale for a dollar and they're delicious.

I'm writing this post for a couple of reasons. Number one being because I logged on to update the timer because seeing Space Ghost with all his zeroes was depressing and stupid. Srs.

Number two being the fact that I can't go play SWTOR, because I'm backing up all my files - cloud storage is the way, truth, and light - and I doubt my laptop and wifi connection would be able to handle all of that. It's going to take a million years to back up my music anyways. Periodically I think to myself, "You can't possibly ever listen to all this music, this is dumb," and then I think, "Yeah, but it's all free on NoiseTrade."

My brain, you know.

Anyways, Poco the Hotdog has stolen my blanket. I would post a picture of it, but it would just look like a pile of blankets with some bare toes next to them. And no one wants to see my toes, for real. That one toenail is turning black again.

This morning I ran sixteen miles. Because the Tobacco Road Marathon is on March 18th, and I totally signed up for it a while ago. And, you know, you have to train for these things.

Ah, me. Just... me.

I'm backing up all my files because I finished building Grendel's Mother today, and I can pull them down from the internet instead of...

Oh, yeah. Grendel's Mother. Well, you see, what had happened was...

I built a computer.

I did, yes. I bought it in little bits and pieces and took a bunch of wires and cables (and some screws) and put all those pieces together. And then I plugged it into the wall and it worked. I'm sure on the inside the Bearcat-Catbear was laughing at me hysterically but on the outside he was really nice and helpful.

I can't play with her until Monday, on account of these awesome dogs who need someone to steal blankets from, and I love them dearly. So she's there and I'm here and it's okay. She'll be there. She'll always be there. She's made of amazing.

And she'll love me because I built her with my own two hands. Truefax.

Stay tuned for more episodes from season three of Kate.