Also, 'Close to You' is a helluva creepy song. Birds everywhere...

Sometimes I wonder about things that it has become apparent to me no one else wonders about.

Like when I was at the drug store today (in my mind all drug stores are named Revco because when I was learning words for things that's what they were called) buying Playtex, Always, Aquafresh, and an Oral-B Medium Bristle, I wondered not only what kind of vag/tooth crisis the people in the store thought I was undergoing (and if I added a diet vanilla creme soda to the mix what would that imply) but why, if there is no longer such a thing as a hard bristled brush, do they persist in 'soft' and 'medium?'

You can't have a medium without another category. There is no medium of two.

The UberTransFan was not intrigued. Instead I got yet another mild rebuke about how hard bristles are bad for your teeth and gums. To which I say, "Yes, but it feels so good."

In other news, I want to announce that I now have a legitimate reason to watch Bigfoot documentaries. And I'm strongly considering a fauxhawk.