Sunday, February 24, 2013

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick.

Today, I had this revelation:
"What the world needs is a supernova talented white female rapper."

It's entirely possible I've spent the entire afternoon researching white female rappers since then. Here's my knowledge, now, so you can also know what you've been missing, and what is still clearly missing. And then you, too, will wonder: Whatever happened to IcyBlu?

We'll begin today, with Lady Gaga, because we all know that that's where I'm comfortable. Despite her solid seat as the new queen of pop (sorry, Madonna, but you got weird and sad with the veiny muscles and the fake British accent), Gaga does incorporate a lot of rap into her music, since 'rap' is defined by Wikipedia as, "spoken or chanted rhyming lyrics."


Okay, so this as a beginning point could be said to marginalize some serious rap/hip-hop/IE not pop-performance artists that are white, female, and making music today. It's the Age of the Internet, baby, and if you have a FlipCam, you can make a music video. I know this because I've listened to a lot of really shitty music videos today.

But there have been some standouts. Gavlyn comes from a spoken word group called Organized Confusion, but she was signed to Broken Complex Records, and you should have a listen:

Dev has a little more attention, but she sings her own choruses and thus could be taken for your more Gaga pop/rap fusion artist. I think this song is really funny and I like the fact that she seems totally aware that she's a skinny little white girl rapping, and has just decided she's going to do it anyways. She has another song called 'Booty Bounce' where she stands totally still for the whole video because the lyric is, 'Don't you want to see this booty bounce?' and presumably no one answered the question.

And then there's Kreayshawn, who has gotten a little bit more attention. I'm less inclined towards her than Gavlyn and Dev, because a) autotune, and b) there's something painfully self-consciously Trying-Gaga/Trying-Hip-Hop about her. But if you look up white female rappers currently producing music, chances are you'll find her. So it would be incomplete not to list her here. I will almost never say this, but you do not have to listen to or watch this video. It's not 'important.' And it might hurt you.

So, that's the current FWR scene.

Go back a few years, and you find Invincible. Well, you SHOULD find Invincible. Except you fucking can't. I have to link you to her Amazon mp3 album to get you a listen. She's legit and as far as I can tell, no one knows about her. This album is the only one and it was released in 2008.

Here she is, freestyling on a radio show. I mean, seriously:

So there's that, and you're welcome.

THE HISTORY OF FWRs goes like this:

In 1990, an album was released by a kid named Icy Blu.

I do not know if she was actually a kid. She sounds like one, is why I'm calling her that. She has no wikipedia page. This is supposedly the first entire album released by a female, white rap artist. This is HISTORICAL SHIT.

It's also kind of adorable:

I do not know what happened to Icy Blu. The album tanked. It surprises me that we still use the name 'Vanilla Ice' like he is/was a person, but Icy Blu has totally disappeared from the public consciousness. If anyone can find her, please leave it in the comments. I want to write her a letter and tell her that I don't care what other people think, I think she was significant.

And then Carmen Electra.

I'll just leave this here.