Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Stand on it, Amanda, stand on it.

I spent the morning baby wrangling because the BearCat-CatBear and the Best Friend For Fucking Ever were looking like the walking dead, and Catface Meowmers had her final exam today. So while BC-CB and BFFFE slept like open-mouthed baby angels who had just discovered memory foam mattresses for the first time, the Little Monster and I hung out in her room.

We read books.

Well, we read one book. Skippyjon Jones 1-2-3. It is her favorite book when I am reading to her. I don't know why - I don't think I'm any better at reading it than any other book. It's about math, which is certainly not my area of expertise, and some of the things in it don't make sense. For instance, why does Skippyjon Jones have 5 bags of frozen peas, and why does he have six fuzzy piƱatas but no sticks?

I think my main issue was the fact that I neglected to have coffee before I went in. I did this because I figured the smell and the sound of the hot water kettle would be disturbing to the snorfling angels.

But now that I have two cups of coffee in my gut, I think my first foray into hardcore (i.e. long term) baby minding went rather well. We read books and I sang some songs because she likes music - I don't know very many children's songs, though, so she was treated to Cee Lo Green, Lady Gaga, and Old Crow Medicine Show.

We started to sing Old MacDonald, but I really don't understand why babies have to learn their animal sounds. I mean, for one, no animal sounds like what we say they sound like. 'Oink' is a totally made-up word. The only horse that says "neigh" is Mr Ed when he is voting in opposition to a movement. I lacked the energy to make the real noises, though, so I switched over to 'Forget You' because that song is at least true to life.

I'm adding Born This Way to her permanent repertoire, though. If I only accomplish one thing in my influence over her, I want it to be a complete lack of insecurities. Though considering that Amanda Palmer is her favorite musician, I somewhat doubt that will be a problem. Also, it's just fun to sing. Especially when you have a tiger puppet on your hand doing the dancing.

I'm eating Mighty Tasty hot cereal for lunch (that's the brand name, although it does happen to be mighty tasty) with granny smith apples and cinnamon, and I've decided that the Little Monster is enough baby for me. Mom is going to have to count on her other child for grandchildren. I'm gonna need another cup of coffee soonish.

Tune in again soon for my chronicle of Urban Camping: Life In A House Without Furniture.

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