Thursday, June 23, 2011

Food Network Masterchef. Wait. That's not right...

I stream Masterchef and Food Network Star on Hulu while I do other, real stuff like sit-ups and homework. I frequently get the two confused so if I'm talking about something that happened on Masterchef that didn't, I probably mean FNS, and vis versa.

The thing I have to remember is that Gordon Ramsay is on Masterchef (but he's nice, so it's hard to remember that it's him) and Giada's boobs are on FNS. I honestly don't understand the appeal of Giada. I mean, I get the low cut shirt hello cleavage thing because I am a red-blooded American lesbian and even green-blooded, queer Vulcan men would get that, but I'm inevitably distracted from the cleavage by the fact that she looks like a bobblehead.

I clearly remember that I used to find Giada attractive. Let me see if I can... yes, a quick Google confirms it.

This is Giada ca. 2008:
And this is Giada now:
I mean, jeez.

But so I'm watching FNS, and there's this contestant called Jyll. Yes, Jill-with-a-y. I'm not even gonna begin to complain about that, because for all I know her parents could actually have named her that. No, what I'm complaining about with Jyll is the fact that she is constantly referring to things as "Jyllicious." I get that portmanteau is cute and people like 'em. I'll eat the hell out of some brunch with a spork while listening to Motown and writing in my blog.

But when you refer to something as "you + delicious," my brain assumes that you're saying it literally tastes like you, which just seems really unsanitary in a catering situation.

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