Monday, June 13, 2011

Tick tick tick.

I really like TV, but not in a normal person kind of way. I don't really watch it. I mean it's on, and periodically some of the information on it enters my brain, but usually it's not what I'm doing, if you understand what I mean. Like, right now, I'm working on my rock lab (the textbook's website is so slow to load videos that I'm getting two or three paragraphs per section) and eating grapefruit.

To that end, I tend to watch a lot of... junk. Stuff I'm ashamed to admit that I watch.

This morning, it's 19 Kids And Counting.

There are several reasons for this. Number one is that it's just after 7 in the morning and there's nothing else really on. I need my computer to do this virtual rock lab (more on that in a minute because I think it's hysterical) so Hulu is out.

Number two is that I really need to pay attention to this lab, and I'm shocked by how Not Interested I am. These people are so intolerable to me that it's like a blessing to focus on homework.

I think the main reason I can't stand the show is the mom, and I think I can't stand her because she talks like she's a moron. And while she's not a rocket scientist, I don't think she's really all that stupid. I think she's just so used to talking and explaining things to small children that she's forgotten how to talk to adults.

I actually understand that pretty well, because my mom does that sometimes, too. I used to get ticked off because I felt like she was talking to me like I was a child, but now I can see that she speaks to everyone that way. It's not a reflection of how smart she is, it's just that when my brother and I were kids, she just got used to talking this way. People respond well to it because secretly everyone is still a kid inside, so she had and has no impetus to stop.

It annoys me, but just because I don't like... inanity. When I was a baby, and it was just me and her alone in the house all day, she would talk to me constantly. Monologue everything she was doing. But now I don't think that it's always necessary to talk and explain. Just like I don't think you should ask 'How are you?' unless you really want to know how someone is.

You know, it's probably because I'm never 100% focused on a situation. My mom and I will be driving, and she'll be monologuing the drive, you know, "Look at this, look at that, oh how cool," and I'm thinking about something else entirely, so it interrupts my train of thought to focus on a conversation about nothing.

When I'm making small talk, it's usually in an effort to maintain focus on a conversation or topic. Or it's because honestly what I'm thinking about is what the small talk is about, and sometimes it's such a relief to talk to someone in front of me about the thing in my brain that I can't shut up. But I don't pretend to be any good at small talk. I have gotten better and it's mostly because I finally have a group of friends who I truly like to do social, public things with. I meet new people all the time, running or eating, and I've actually stopped being paralyzingly afraid that they'll think I'm a moron. Also, taking sign language has really helped because I have to make eye contact in ASL, or I'm totally rude.

So for the first time in my life, I actually have some small talk skills.

And wow, that was a disjointed, rambling post, but I finished the rock identification part of my lab. I have to stop at Walmart and the gas station on the way out of town, because I had basically the worst run ever this morning, with intestinal issues so bad it doesn't even count as a run, and I'm going to use the time I was going to go to the store after class to run at Salem Lake. The exit is really right on the way back to Grandma's House and it's a shame to be driving past it every day.

So I'll tell you all about virtual rock id tonight.

No comments:

Post a Comment