Thursday, March 10, 2011


No, you know what? I am NOT done.

How can they possibly make a new Buffy? A "reboot," as they're calling it.

For starters, those actors are those characters - you won't be able to sell me a non-Sarah Michelle Gellar Buffy. I mean, you can't even sell me Kristin Swanson, who played Buffy in Whedon's original movie.

I can't have some fresh-faced interloper coming around, pretending to be Willow Rosenberg. How can they remake Willow's coming out story? Everyone already knows. She's going to wind up being this out-and-proud uberdyke with a bad haircut right from the beginning and then oh, hey, look, magic, how nifty and we just won't care the way we did with Willow.

Faith will just be evil - if they even bother to include Faith, I mean, she's not everyone's favorite character, just mine. Xander is going to be the goofy male friend who can't ever get a date, and Angel is going to be... well, okay, so Angel will still come across exactly the same, just played by someone less David Boreanaz and probably a little more Fucking Twilight. And how will they choose which Big Bad to put in, and how will Spike be portrayed, and... and...

It took six years and seven seasons for us to care about the Scoobies, and they think they can pack all of that love, all of that devotion, into a two hour feature?

Please. Never gonna happen.

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