Monday, March 28, 2011

Cooking with the English Major

Today marks a momentous day. Today is the first day I ever seriously thought, "Ugh. I don't want to go to this class." I even thought - and hold the phones, people, because I never thought this could happen - "Maybe I should skip it."

That's what Tom Cruise does to you, ladies and gentlemen. Because we started watching War of the Worlds in class today, to go along with our reading of Wells, and I'm very firmly convinced that in the first 20 minutes of that movie, Tom Cruise is not acting at all. It's his personality, on screen, for all of us to see. And it annoys the living daylights out of me.

If I ever met Tom Cruise I would punch him in the face, probably not just once, and it wouldn't be on purpose at all. He just does that to me. His face, the way he smiles and holds himself... something about him makes me very aware that he believes that he is entitled to everything. Like he's nodding along when Charlie Sheen is talking about tiger blood and Adonis DNA and being better than common people.

So, yeah. I almost skipped class for the first time since I started here, and it's all Tom Cruise's fault.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you that I was terribly inspired by Sandra Lee this morning, and I wrote a recipe. Yes, for real. It's a special Easter recipe.

"Semi-Homemade" Chocolate Easter Lollipops

Ingredients:
6 Cadbury Eggs, original Creme flavor (wait until you've mastered the recipe before making dangerous substitutions here)
6 Decorative Party Skewers, assorted colors, Bunnies preferred

Directions:
1. Take one egg and figure out which end is the bottom (hint: it's the less pointy one).
2. Peel the aluminum wrapper off.
3. Insert pointy end of one skewer into the bottom of the egg. Don't push it all the way through!
4. Hey, look, you made a lollipop.
5. Repeat 1-4 with the rest of the eggs.
6. Put all 6 lollipops into the freezer and leave them alone overnight. This is the very important part that makes it a recipe, so don't forget to do this.

Should serve six, but who are you kidding?


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