"The pain in my heart broke a piece of itself off and stabbed itself in the eye."

Sometimes you start reading a fan fiction and within a couple of sentences you know you need to close the window before you hurt your brain. Just like sometimes you start listening to a song and you know you need to rip out your earbuds before you rip off your ears.

This is not one of those times.

Kim Kardashian made a "jam," however, that I would counsel you against "turning up." The boys may be spending, and the girls may be looking good, and she might have her hands up like it's her birthday, but no amount of tequila is gonna make it okay again. I listened so you wouldn't have to.