Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'd say something bad about Oprah, but I think she'd hear me.

I wish you could customize your cable package and only pay a certain amount per channel. Because I only really need about three, maybe four channels - FoodNetwork, History Channel, and A&E for Criminal Minds.

I'd pay for Discovery Health, too, except I think Oprah took that over with her new network, and Health merged with Fitness. I don't want to pay for Dance & Be Fit Brazilian Body - I want to get Dr G: Medical Examiner, Mystery Diagnosis, and Untold Stories of the ER for my money, thanks.

I'm an English major and an avid fan of the movie Matilda, but I really do like television. I think a part of it is that I can rarely just do one thing. When I do buckle down and focus - 'remove outside distractions' like they say you should in order to study - I get antsy and actually find it harder to concentrate than when there are distractions around. Nine times out of ten, when I'm studying for an exam I'm also streaming a documentary off of SnagFilms.

I don't know if that qualifies me for ADHD or not - it's not like I can't pay attention and it's not like I don't get things done. I just don't like doing them singularly.

I think it's one of the reasons I like running so much. When I'm running, it's like I don't need the distractions. When I'm running I can think about one thing for miles at a time. I've written entire papers in my head while out for a run. I solve problems. I mean, I'm not kidding when I say that I can do math much better when running. I'm never bored when I'm out for a run.

Do you sometimes wonder if you would be a better person on medication? I don't think I'm a bad person, but my mom loves to talk about how I'm not living up to my brain's potential. One of the reasons I don't believe in IQ testing on children is because I've been harangued my whole life on the basis of a test I don't even remember taking. But what if my mom is both right and wrong - right that I'm not up to my potential, wrong to prevent the doctors from putting me on ADD medication when they wanted me to.

Without really understanding anything about the human brain, we have hundreds of chemical compounds designed to accomplish all kinds of science fiction things. This pill will make you happy, this pill will make you focus, this pill will make you calm. This pill for a quick fix; this pill for a long, slow burn.

Sometimes I wonder if people have always been the way they are now, or if somewhere along the way we broke ourselves without even realizing it.

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